Exotic Car Rally!

You have finally made it. It was a lot of hard work, it was making the right choices, probably being at the right place at the right time and, admit it, luck. You did whatever it took to get here, and finally you have arrived, Mr. Bigshot/CEO/President/Money Launderer/Entrepreneur/Thief/Golden Parachute Recipient/Inventor/Genius/Hedge Fund manager/Ponzi Scheme Person/E-list Actor/Blogger/Lottery Winner/Inventor of TopsyTail/etc, etc. You have your multi-million dollar house, paid off of course, boat, vacations, and all the other good stuff. Now, since everyone at the country club has one, you must get an exotic supercar. Yes, so you get the latest and greatest limited edition Italian with a dozen cylinders and stuff you could not possibly explain to anyone, but it doesn’t matter, because YOU have it and they don’t!

So…, now what?

Did you ever wonder what you would do if all of a sudden you were presented with a million dollar car budget? Probably, but I’ll bet that many of the people at this “cruise” (because that’s what it was, just a parade of fancy cars) clearly did not. If you were a rich and prenescious person you pretty much would have three choices as what to do with your new toy:

First, there are driving schools, but those require you to actually go somewhere and do something. Unfortunately your acquaintances won’t see you do it anyway, so what’s the point? Besides, you already know how to drive!

Or you can join one of many car clubs which give you access to a race track, offer driving instructions, and would allow you to actually rub shoulders with people who have both, money and driving passion. However, this also involves time, money, scheduling, and no commoners will get to see you anyway.

The third, and obvious choice, is Exotic Car Rallies! Yea, now you’re talking! A bunch of douche-bags likeminded individuals gathered together to drive like idiots their amazing automobiles on public roads. This really is a fantastic idea; you get to drive your car the way you think it was intended to be driven, you get the sense of belonging, you discus shit you cannot possibly comprehend with other equally clueless morons and, most importantly, EVERYONE sees you!!! WIN! WIN! WIN!!!

Yea, last weekend I happened to come upon such exotics rally. Some cars were cool, some were amazing, and some I would never be seen near. The stereotypical owners were there too, trophy wives in tow, in an amazing display of tasteless overindulgence. Those that enjoy people watching really need to go to one of these events; you’d really see some priceless stuff, especially in New Jersey.

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At this particular rally one car, a Dodge Viper, took complete top honors in terms total tackiness, tastelessness and whatever other synonyms you can throw at it. I am really out of words for this one (note the wing) so it’s best to just show pictures. My biggest regret is not being able to find the owner and his female partner, who undoubtedly was equally modified.

Negative conentaion in this little article? Perhaps. While I am certain that there were many true car lovers in this group, the clear majority were the people whom I’ve just described; rich people without taste who try to outdo each other by spending more money. Yes, given the chance I would love to be one of them, except I wouldn’t.

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